I am the only one who's left right here and I at the moment can hear nothing but the whirring sound of my room's ceiling fan. I feel sad and lonely because I'm not used to being here at home during Saturdays since I usually go out with friends and go to the mall. Plus the reality that you are the only one at home gives you more sadness. I am the person who doesn't want to be left alone. I never wanted to be alone, but what can I do? I have to stay home since there's no one I could ask to go to the mall with me, or watch movies, or whatever that gives me leisure. I'm quiet jealous with my sister going out today, and I'm just sitting right here facing my laptop for a several hours already. Though I could have all the chance to surf the net or check my Facebook and twitter accounts, or maybe watch TV in order for me to somehow be happy, still I still feel the loneliness around the house. But then, I guess life is not always happiness and leisure. Sometimes, we need to experience being sad and lonely. Of course, that's life. It's just that, I am not used to this situation where there's nobody to talk to or have fun with. I know I have to get used to times like this, but right now, there are still other things that bother my mind which makes me sad right now.
Aside from being alone, the reality that I do have financial problems, or perhaps the whole family has, gives me more reason to feel blue. I still haven't been accepted in a new freelance writing job, though I have already looked and applied lots of them. I keep on telling myself to be patient but as days pass by I getting more anxious and anxious. In addition, my mom thought that I already found a new online job, when in fact i am still looking for one. Sigh...Times like this makes me wanna curl up like a ball in bed and cry. I wanted to help our family financially, but as much as I wanted to, I cannot do anything yet. I still keep on waiting for the clients to respond to my application. As of now, the only thing I can do is to continue seeking help from God and to be patient for His blessings. Perhaps God has better plans for me on why these things are happening in our lives right now. I just hope and pray that it'd be too soon when our family could finally live a better life, gradually. Nonetheless, I still thank God for the millions of blessings He has given us all our lives.
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